V’s Voice-Healing in Harmony
Meet V.
Some love stories aren't just about finding someone — they're about finding yourself first. This is a story of deep healing, personal transformation, and the kind of love that arrives when you’ve done the hard work of becoming whole on your own. From heartbreak to healing, from childhood wounds to conscious connection, this story reminds us that when we clear space in our lives for growth, what fills that space can be more beautiful than we ever imagined.
Healing in Harmony
Healthy love can be so healing and powerful. Even more so after doing so much work on myself since my last long term relationship ended. I had six years without romantic love, and I had accepted that I may not find it again. I built a fulfilling life for myself and rebuilt when I hit my lowest. In those six years: I learned how to be alone and still be happy after spending all of my teens and most of my twenties jumping from relationship to relationship to fill a void. I dated and met lots of new people which allowed me to figure out what I do and don't want and need in a partner. I explored and accepted my bisexuality, finding community, and letting go of shame that my mom's rejection and religious upbringing had caused. I moved forward in a career that allows me to help others, started a business that gives flexibility and creativity as a provide a space for connections, and I rebuilt financially. I formed new friendships, let go of friendships that had run their course, and poured into the friendships that I valued most. I solo travelled in numerous countries, I revisited childhood hobbies and explored new interests, and I navigated significant hardships with my physical and mental health. I sought our resources and support; medications, therapy, self help books, support groups, and explored my spirituality. I put in endless hours towards healing and growth. I moved away from years of self destructive behaviour in the form of workaholism, eating disorders, substance abuse, self loathing, and constant suicidal ideation. The building blocks that formed from childhood abandonment, abuse, poverty, and instability. I stopped seeking out the wrong kinds of relationships, ones that were empty, toxic or abusive. I learned how to better love and take care of myself and in doing so, I discovered how to be a more loving and patient partner.
I opened myself up to manifestation and visualization, learning to be in my body instead of my mind. Feeling instead of thinking, and practicing listening to my body. Meditation, energy work, and trusting the process. When 2023 ended, I felt strange knowing that things were shifting and that my life was transforming for the better. I found joy in being in nature and in flow where I could disconnect and be present. Life gets busy and it doesn't happen often, but when I am able to get into that headspace, I relish in it. Ness Creek is one of the places I enter that state. After plans fell through in summer 2024, I decided to volunteer at the festival solo. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to spend time with acquaintances in between shifts, and make new friends. I remember walking down the beach alone on the way to Stage of Aquarius and telling myself that would be the last time I'd be coming solo- because new connections were coming my way. In the fall, I had to cancel a business event last minute and found myself with an unexpected free Sunday evening. I took myself to a yoga and reiki class and found myself in a deep state of relaxation and flow. I had a powerful visualization of being back on the beaches of Costa Rica where I slowly was absorbed into the sand and drifted into the ocean. I let the ocean wash away the clouds of depression that had hung over me for a long time and the parts of myself that were self defeating, and drifted home. I slowly emerged from the water with a sense of rebirth and transformation. The next day, I had my first date with Jordan on a crisp October evening. We played mini golf, went for gourmet ice cream, and talked until the shop closed. We made plans for our next date in the parking lot and our connection grew steadily from there. A few weeks in, we had a heart to heart where we talked about our hopes, fears, and views on building a life and a family with someone. Jordan had spent the last years healing from the ending of a 14 year relationship and a severe depression that followed, caused by hopelessness, loneliness and regrets. The loss of the only relationship he had known through his teens and twenties. His counselor had convinced him it was time to put himself out there again when we connected unexpectedly. I opened up about my family trauma, and my anxieties about reliving dysfunction or failing to break the cycles by choosing the wrong partner. I was open about the dark aspects of my family and childhood, including the domestic violence, addiction, and childhood sexual abuse that my father had poisoned our family tree with. I told Jordan I knew my dad's life was coming to an end as he was aging, and knew I would never see him again. Our last contact had been in a courthouse five years earlier, where he was charged for years of sexual abuse against my sister. I knew that when he passed it would re-open wounds and be my final chapter of healing. Jordan listened intently and provided gentle comfort while he held my hand.
The next day, that very news came. My dad was dead, and he had been since the end of summer. Nobody in my family had let me know. There was no funeral and no obituary, he was just gone. I was angry, hurt, relieved, and forced to close the chapter on my longing for a dad who provided love and protection. The next month, it was Jordan who experienced loss. After a Friday night in, I lay in Jordan's bed, waiting for him to join me. I heard a voice in my head tell me that he was taking a long time because his dog had died, and within seconds, he ran through the doorway in tears, confirming exactly that. With chills running through me, I sprung up, supporting Jordan through a panic attack, and helping him say goodbye to his best friend of 15 years. He had been sleeping peacefully in his dog bed just minutes earlier. Jordan sobbed as I took his body away. He let me know he had been meaning to do something to commemorate him as he'd been slowing down over the last few weeks, and he feared this day was coming. I remembered then that Jordan's Christmas present had arrived that week, which included a hand painted figurine of his pup that I had made by a local artist. Divine timing and intuition had happened again. As Jordan navigated his grief, he thanked me for supporting him through that night, and let me know that he couldn't have done it alone. Jordan's dog got him through the darkest days of his depression, and he left when he was strong enough and well enough to let go. Navigating the death of a parent and a pet in those first months set the foundation for our relationship: strength, trust, vulnerability, and understanding. In working through my complicated grief, I discovered that various belief systems believe that it takes 40 days for a person's energy to cross over when they leave their physical body. I counted on the calendar with curiosity to pinpoint the date my dad truly left, and felt the chills again. October 6th, the day of my powerful visualization in the yoga studio, before I met Jordan the next day. His energy that had been a source of so much pain for so many years had left me as I welcomed in a new connection that showed me that I could feel trust and safety and respect with a good man. Our love built slowly and steadily, as we both cautiously opened our hearts to this unexpected connection. I mailed Jordan a love letter from Japan this spring, and when I got home, he confirmed he was in love with me too. Our pieces fit together effortlessly like a complicated puzzle that is matched up and aligned. Our relationship is full of so many things. Silliness, sporting events, honesty, live music shows, deep conversations, weekly dates and adventures, talk of the future, and daily physical affection. It is a safe space where we can be totally ourselves, at our worst and our best.
I had a chance to disconnect again this summer and immerse myself in Ness Creek, and as I found myself back on the beach at the stage, my person was there beside me. Our relationship is an ongoing source of comfort and fun, and Jordan's family has welcomed me with open arms. His mom wraps me in tight hugs each time she see's me, invites us over for family dinners, and plans family vacations. His dad is patient and selfless, helping fix my car when I needed it and showing me what being a loving dad looks like. This year was my first time celebrating Father's Day with them, a day that had been rooted in resentment and pain for so many years. In a few short weeks, just shy of a year since we first connected, we'll take the next step in building a life together. Packing up, moving in, and waking up to each other every morning. I live each day with gratitude now, and a certainty that the best is yet to come. Throughout all the next chapters and hardships, I hope our love will be there for it all.
-V
